by Dr. Idris Baker, National Clinical Lead for Palliative and End of Life Care in Wales
Are you serious?
“Are you serious about this? Who do you think you are?” the out of hours coordinator asked me. “Sending a man like this home? Asking for morphine for him to go with? A man like this needs to be in hospital.”
The problem was that Bill – he wasn’t “a man like this”, he was this man– didn’t want to be in hospital. He was in A&E, and he was screaming, and he could only tell me two things: he wanted painkillers, and he wanted to go home. He only had these two wishes and he hoped I could grant him both.
His family filled in some blanks. Bill had advanced pancreatic cancer, his chemotherapy hadn’t worked, and he knew – they all knew – that he was dying. No one had given him any decent painkillers. It had got so bad that they had to bring him to hospital. We had old hospital notes and it all checked out, so there was nothing suspicious about the story. Bill was dying, in pain, and scared. I was scared too, a new young casualty officer facing a long bank holiday weekend, and I didn’t know much but even I could grasp a bit about Bill’s situation.